Author: Paul Beattie

  • Column: “That Got Me to Thinkin’…?” “Ghosts of Christmases Past”

    12/20/2021 “That Got Me To Thinkin’…?” “Ghosts of Christmases Past” Chapter 77 By Bruce Williams As Christmas rolls around this year (faster than ever it seems), I got to thinking about all the lost arts that went with the holiday during my childhood that have fallen off of late—many for good reason.  Let’s have a…

  • Column: “That Got Me to Thinkin’…?” “On Satire”

    12/13/2021 “That Got Me To Thinkin’…?” “On Satire” Chapter 76 By Bruce Williams While we live in an age of misinformation and conspiracy theories, the perfect opportunity for satire emerges from the thicket to mock the unending ridiculousness and to bring laughter instead of the alternative—shouting into the abyss of “no amount of proof will…

  • Column: “That Got Me to Thinkin’…?” “Russ vs. The Kid”

    12/6/2021 “That Got Me To Thinkin’…?” “Russ vs. The Kid” Chapter 75 By Bruce Williams As what feels like the slow winding down of Russell Wilson’s brilliant Seattle Seahawks’ career, I felt it fitting to address his singular significance in this town’s athletic folklore.  And really, if there were a Mount Rushmore representing the Emerald…

  • Column: “That Got Me to Thinkin’…?” “The Wedding Attire”

    11/29/2021 “That Got Me To Thinkin’…?” “The Wedding Attire” Chapter 74 By Bruce Williams I noticed recently, in small print at the bottom of our alterations price list at work, the following disclaimer: “We do not alter wedding dresses not purchased at (our store).”  It made me smile.  At some point, the tailors drew a…

  • Column: “That Got Me to Thinkin’…?” “Thanksgiving”

    11/22/2021 “That Got Me To Thinkin’…?” “Thanksgiving” Chapter 73 By Bruce Williams The greatest of holidays is here—one centered on three of my favorite things in the world: food, family and football.  I like to host it, too…that way I can make sure that the main TV is locked onto the NFL all day (I…

  • Column: “That Got Me to Thinkin’…?” “New Words 2021”

    11/15/2021 “That Got Me To Thinkin’…?” “New Words” Chapter 72 By Bruce Williams Well, it’s time again for Merriman-Webster’s newly added dictionary words—a whopping 455 of ‘em this time—one of my favorite yearly updates to watch for ever since I first read Chaucer’s Middle English* in college and it seemed like it was an entirely…

  • Column: “That Got Me to Thinkin’…?” “David Sedaris”

    11/8/2021 “That Got Me To Thinkin’…?” “David Sedaris” Chapter 71 By Bruce Williams I stumbled upon Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris in the paperback section of the book store years ago, and it was several chapters in when I first came across his short story “Big Boy”.  His recounting of an Easter…

  • Column: “That Got Me to Thinkin’…?” “One Night in Hollywood”

    10/25/2021 “That Got Me To Thinkin’…?” “One Night in Hollywood” Chapter 70 By Bruce Williams In an attempt to win Father of the Year and feeling guilty about my son Jack being cooped up in our house sequestered by Covid for over a year, I grabbed some tickets for his favorite rock band Greta Van…

  • Column: “That Got Me to Thinkin’…?” “The Gift of Sight”

    10/25/2021 “That Got Me To Thinkin’…?” “The Gift of Sight” Chapter 69 By Bruce Williams After experiencing a pretty extreme drop in my vision accuracy in the last few months, I set an appointment with the eye doctor to update my glasses and contacts prescriptions.  I could no longer read the TV when there was…

  • Column: “That Got Me to Thinkin’…?” “What Do You Make of That”

    10/18/2021 “That Got Me To Thinkin’…?” “What Do You Make of That” Chapter 68 By Bruce Williams I recently watched our dog Clark licking his balls, then moving on with his considerable tongue to Jack’s bare feet right after his 6th-period basketball class.  After getting up to use the restroom, I came back into the…